Today I’m 50 years old! That feels absurd, because it’s a big number, the kind of round number that people usually obscure by saying “I’m celebrating a big birthday” or something vague like that. But, since you only get so many of these to celebrate, I’m using this chance to ask everyone who I’m lucky enough to have in my life to join me in observing the day by considering five different ways of taking action. These are all the gifts I could possibly ask for, because I’m lucky enough that my life has brought me all the good fortune that anyone could ever want or need.

So, without further ado, some ideas of what we might do together. (And feel free to use these as starting points and change them to make them your own.)

1. Give to those who help the people who are most in need in your immediate community.

In my neighborhood, I’ve been privileged enough to get to serve on the board of the Lower East Side Girls Club for about a decade, working to support an incredible team that stands behind some of New York City’s most at-risk girls and families. Through the education, resources, guidance and just plain old-fashioned love that the Girls Club provides these girls, they’re able to reach the full potential that they’ve had all along.

One of the biggest reasons this kind of work is possible is because the Girls Club gives them a world-class facility, the kind of space they might otherwise never have gotten access to use, with everything from a planetarium to a recording studio to a crafting classroom. You can directly support this work by giving as generously as possible, or find the people in your own neighborhood who are supporting the vulnerable kids and families in your own community and give of your own time and resources to make sure they have the support they need, too.

2. Invest the time in exploring, preserving, sharing, and promoting the subject of your passions.

People who know me well know that I am a “big fan of being a big fan” of things. What this means is, I love it when people have an exuberant, sometimes downright irrational, enthusiasm for a topic, or a hobby that’s all-consuming in a way that they want to tell the whole world about. Almost everyone I love has one or two (or… twenty) topics that they’re deeply passionate about, which they’re either an expert about, or want to be an expert about. The world is so much better when people take the time to dive into these passions, and to share them with the world — especially if we also take the time to ensure that the historical record or the artifacts of that subject are also appropriately recorded or preserved.

At a time when histories are actively being erased and truth is actively being distorted, it can be a brave and meaningful act to protect the real history of the works or subjects that inspire us. For me, I’m famously willing to expound on Prince’s work at any time, but I have the same enthusiasm about the history of New York City, or the design of transit systems and safe streets, or the culture of making software, or any one of a dozen other esoteric topics that have been the subject of a hyperfixation for me over the years. One of the biggest reasons to be a big fan of something is that it opens the door to connecting with the other big fans of that thing, and also to connecting with people who may not share that same specific topic, but who are just drawn towards the sheer contagious joy of a person sharing the thing that makes their heart sing.

3. Fight for the ability to create, and to own and control what you make.

Nearly my entire professional life has been centered around enabling people to share their ideas, their words, and their creative expression with the world. And right now, it matters more than ever that we protect that incredibly valuable promise. Most importantly, we all have to fight for that kind of expression together, because the more we stand in unison, the more resilient we all are to attacks.

Just as key is the idea that everyone should be able to have control over the things people do with their work and their idea, and that their labor and creations shouldn't be exploited without consent. This is a basic human right, but it's too often ignored or denied in today's culture, and yet often all it takes is the smallest amount of fighting back to stop the bad actors from taking advantage. There are lots of ways to help with this battle, from supporting the small independent artists and activists in your community and in your life, to sustaining the organizations like EFF (where I'm honored to serve on the board) that fight every day to protect free expression in the digital realm, where these rights are often the most threatened.

Nearly every good thing in my life has come to me as a result of being able to speak from my heart in words like these on a platform like this one, and by being able to reach people like you in an unfettered way. I want everyone else to have that opportunity too.

4. Be kind and forgiving to yourself, and treat yourself like a friend.

For most of my life, I would have rolled my eyes at a lot of the language of kindness or self-empathy as insufferably fuzzy-minded, a kind of indulgence that distracts from more meaningful work. But further into adulthood, having grown, and endured loss, and been with loved ones and friends as they've grieved and struggled and been through all the countless small indignities that life inflicts on us all, I realize that it's actually pretty important to extend kindness to oneself. Self-love is profoundly lacking in so many people's lives, and the ways that this absence manifests is one obvious, and major, cause of so many of the biggest problems in society today.

If you are a person who deals with impostor syndrome, or struggles with confidence, or who wrangles with insecurities, or who faces doubts, nearly every single one of those challenges can find some small reprieve by loving yourself as if you were one of your best friends. It's striking how much people are willing to be kind, generous, patient, and even unconditionally forgiving to their closest loved ones, and then turn around and be brutally, unrelentingly harsh to themselves. As it turns out, you can treat yourself with the same combination of acceptance tempered by accountability that you would extend to a true friend, so you don't have to worry that being loving means that you're suddenly going to lower your standards and not keep being the best version of yourself.

If you've been waiting for someone to say it, here it is in writing: you're granted absolution by some guy on the internet. You're allowed to love yourself.

5. Don't wait until they're dead.

This one is a thing people say all the time, but I can't emphasize enough how much it's true: Do not wait until someone is gone to praise them, or thank them, or acknowledge them, or to tell them what you're grateful for or how they've impacted your life. I have tried to make it a habit to say as directly as possible to people what they mean to me, in the moment when it occurs to me, or when there is the slightest prompt to do so.

People have often asked me if it is awkward to do so, and it is never awkward! Almost no one is offended or angry when you say that their work means something to you, or that some long-ago favor that they did for you ended up being really meaningful, or that you've always admired the way that they show their true character when no one is looking. (If you need practice, you can say something nice on my birthday about how I've made an impact in your life, and I promise I won't be anything but happy. See how easy that was?)

Aside from fishing for nice people to say nice things, one of the reasons that I've found this is a good practice is because doing so has made me realize that telling others, in plain language, what I appreciate about them has made me have to be in a vulnerable place too. When you talk about their strength, you're often revealing something that was, at least at one time for you, a weakness. But we build our greatest bonds with others by trusting them with our vulnerabilities.

Sometimes there is a chance that someone will take advantage of those vulnerable moments to be dismissive or hurtful, or they simply won't understand what you were responding to, and the connection won't be made. But far, far more often, you will have deepened a connection to someone whose character inspires you, and there are few things more rewarding in life than that.

Thank you.

I don't have any profound life lessons to impart after a half century, except to say that I am very grateful for all of the wonderful people in my life, and to be so fortunate, especially at a time when so many are not. I hope I can continue to be of service to others in the most effective and useful ways possible, and I'm thankful as ever that all of you take the time to read and share the things I have been writing here for half of my life.

One of the greatest gifts I've gotten in my life has been getting to connect with so many kind and thoughtful people through sharing my life and ideas here, and the best part is that's not limited to just one birthday or one moment, but really continues throughout my life over years and decades. I hope you'll stick around for many more.